Thursday, March 13, 2008

Microproprebioticisms

I take great pride in my visceral hatred for advertising. Aside from direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical marketing, there is no form of advertising I hate more than the kind that warps science in order to sell products. The latest fad my wife and I have noticed is particularly ubiquitous, almost to the point of being humorous.

Next time you are watching commercials, take note of how many food, cosmetic, and cleaning product advertisements utilize the following term: micro. Everything is micro now and it apparently makes it better. Ultra scrubbing microspheres of dishwasher detergent leave your dishes sparkling clean. Microbristles in your mop clean your floor better. Soon enough we'll have "the detergent so micro, it's not even there". They'll have you so convinced that their detergent is better because it has micro attached to it, that you'll go out and buy their cardboard box full of air and then stand there flabbergasted when your dishes still have last night's supper stuck to them.

Another annoying pseudoscientific word utilized much too often is "probiotic". I implore you to find any advertised dairy products on the market today that does not shout out "we have probiotics" and the ensuing assumption that this will help you defecate more frequently. Oh, and apparently when your yogourt has probiotics in it it gives you rock hard abs and a halo of visible atoms around your midsection. And for the latest in yogourt science, check out the product that not only has probiotics, but the new and improved prebiotics! They are so dead, they are not even biotic yet! They are selling you yogourt with inanimate objects in it. My son could whip you up a batch of that for a lot cheaper. Although I can't promise it would help you shat.

5 comments:

andi said...

I heard a company (Dannon, I think?) was sued for falsely advertising the positive affects of probiotics. I hate the commercials too!

Mom said...

That's so coincidental that you would write about probiotics and prebiotics. Dad and I were just making fun of that commercial the other day. What the hell do those words mean anyway?

Stephanie said...

Whenever I see that yogurt commercial, I just think "do these women even know what probiotics are?". Just put big scientific words on your yogurt and dieting women will be sure to buy it.

cheezewhizandmustard said...

I am pro-biotic. As in I like life. HA!

Anonymous said...

Man can you ever make me laugh!! The yogurt commecial drives Greg batting...although his comment is always, " Who walks around the house in a yellow work out suit anyway???!" Certainly not his wife ! Enjoy you blog. take care old neighbour!